Divorce lawyers may not be relationship experts, but they have picked up a thing or two about the factors that lead up to a failed marriage. Because of this, they may actually be the best people to go to about dating. Here are nine questions they suggest asking on a first date to determine whether a relationship is worth pursuing.
1. “WHICH BOX DO YOU CHECK FOR STATUS ON FORMS (SINGLE, MARRIED, ETC.)?”This might be an obvious one, but unless your date’s status is strictly in the “single” or “divorced” category, don’t schedule a second date, says Georgia attorney Randall Kessler. Any other situation is messy, complicated, and filled with drama—something you definitely don’t need in your life.
2. “HOW OLD ARE YOU?”This question might seem a bit forward, but Kessler revealed that many of his clients claimed they didn’t know the age of their partner until after they were engaged! Many people are inclined to lie about their age, so you can even ask them indirectly by referencing pop culture. A conversation about your favorite movies, television shows, and music can give you the answer you’re seeking and can help you learn about your date’s interests.
3. “HOW CLOSE ARE YOU TO YOUR FAMILY?” Family ties can reveal a lot about your date, according to Pittsburgh attorney Carla Schiff Donnelly. If he’s too close to his family, that can be a red flag. He may have boundary issues or be too dependent on them. Nobody likes a mama’s boy. If he’s at odds with his relatives, it can indicate that he has a personality disorder or that he has a hard time holding onto relationships. If you don’t want to get too deep on the first date, simply ask, “When was the last time you spoke to your parents (or siblings)?” It may just spark a conversation that sheds some light on his situation (and give you a chance to share your own).