17. Is there anything in particular I should avoid in the aftermath of childbirth?
18. My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is that right?
Yes, in the way that a tornado might be referred to as merely an air current.
19. Girl: “Mom I’m pregnant again!! It must be something in the air!”
Mom: Yup…your legs, honey.
20. What do you do when your daughter, who claims she hasn’t slept with anyone, gets pregnant?
Start a religion.
21. Why is it so great to be a test tube baby?
You get a womb with a view.
22. How is being pregnant is like being a kid again?
There’s always someone telling you what to do.
23. What’s the weirdest stage of pregnancy?
When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership.
24. What do people really mean when they say “congrats” on your pregnancy?
Nice work doing what teenagers manage to do by accident every day!
25. There’s the one percent that’s super rich…
And the one percent that manages to get pregnant while taking birth control.