7. Your Independence
You have to be free. Being free to do the things you want to do, to be yourself, to go places, to have your own thoughts and feelings, and to have a say in how your life goes, is not just important in a relationship. It’s essential. You have to have it. You can (and often should) include your partner in your decisions, but you should still feel free to decide. Is love really worth it if you feel like you have to ask ask permission to be yourself, or if your partner won’t let you do you?
There’s nothing better than being with someone who is a true partner in crime. You’re meant to be partners. You may play these roles occasionally, but on the whole, you’re not a parent, babysitter, secretary, maid, or nurse. You’re a whole person who needs to be dating another whole person. And you both need to come together as a team. If you’re not a team and you don’t have equality, it can make you unhappy enough to spoil the relationship, whether there’s great love or not.
OK, hear me out on this one. First of all, I wholeheartedly believe that you can have a great, happy relationship with little to no sεχ, if that’s what you both want, or if you’ve found a way to make it work. But if sεχ is something that’s really important to you, and no matter what you do, you can’t get on the same sεχual page, you’re going to have some unhappy times. This takes us back to the idea that your happiness is more important than love. You can work on your sεχual compatibility, of course, but if you’ve tried everything and you’re tired of trying, it doesn’t matter how much you love your partner. It will continue to be an issue. No amount of love is worth your unhappiness if you’re the kind of unhappy that can’t be fixed.