Everyone wants to be happy, and I think happiness is really important. And to, be fair, you won’t be happy all the time. In fact, it’s normal to go long periods of time when you’re unhappy, especially if you’re dealing with a crisis. But when you add up the total of happy times versus unhappy times, happy times should come out on top. Otherwise you’re just mucking through a relationship that isn’t satisfying. And I don’t mean you should be feeling joy all the time necessarily, but you should be content. You deserve contentedness. Not all people who love each other can be happy together. It’s sad, but it’s OK. You can find happiness and you can survive a hard breakup. Especially if it makes room for something great.
5. Liking Each Other
If you’re like “what?” right now, I totally hear you. But it’s more common than you think for people to stay in relationships with people they don’t actually like because they love them. If you can’t wrap your brain around it, think about that family member who is always judges you. They’re family. You love them, probably — maybe a lot. But you don’t really like them. You don’t have to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get you, who you don’t have fun with, and who doesn’t make you randomly smile.
6. Your Sense Of Self
You were a “you” before you were a “we,” and you should continue to be a “you” when you get in a relationship. There’s no amount of love that’s worth giving up the essence of who you are. If you get into a relationship and you ultimately lose yourself, you forget your own interests, you give up on your goals, and you just aren’t the you that you want to be, that’s a problem. You can work with your partner to get back to yourself. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker. But, again, no amount of love is worth giving up the fundamental truths of who you are.