It is 2018, and there is no reason women should still have to wait around for cute men to approach them. Ladies, it is time to lean in to shamelessly hitting on men. No more wallflower syndrome. Be in charge of your romantic fate. Flirt with reckless abandon. Men have tried to ruin public flirtation with disgusting pickup calls and creepy staring, and it is time for women to make picking people up artful again.
To get you started, here are 11 genius tips that will totally (sometimes) work next time you want to see a cute boy on the bus who you want to ask out.
1. Slip him a business card, like the HBIC you are. Thanks to the Internet, the only reason I can see for even having business cards is so you have a cool, fun, flirty way to slip guys your phone number/Twitter handle/email address. Don’t have a job worth having a business card for? Who cares! Make something up! Or put like … Hannah Smothers, Tinder Consultant. Just anything. Hannah Smothers, Professional Woman might also work in a pinch. Call it a carte de visite and be classy as hell.
2. Cut him in line at Starbucks like an asshole but then pay for his latte like an angel. This way he knows you’re both assertive and rich. First he’ll be all like, “I cannot believe this woman just cut me in line, I’m going to be so late!” but then he’ll be like, “Wow she was actually doing a kind gesture, we should date and maybe get married.”
3. Ask him what book he’s reading and then say, “That one’s good, but her other work is much better,” no matter what book it is. This will 100 percent work unless the author is a one-hit wonder who only wrote one book, but honestly, the odds of that are slim. Falling in love takes risks! Anyway, he will be intrigued by how well-read you are and also feel slightly ashamed by already knowing less about things than you do. He’ll be dying to go out with you after this, if only to bask in your intellect.